Lockout, bank fees, 999

If you have recently taken a paycut or lost your job, you may find the following infuriating. The NBA is currently experiencing a player lockout. Rich Owners (many of them billionaires) are opposed to the players associations labor contract proposal. Both sides feel like the other is asking for to much money. All the while working class Americans all across this nation who are employed at the Arenas are wondering when they can get back to work? Many rely on these jobs for extra income. I say players like Kobe Bryant (who isn't hurting for money), Owes it to the employees of the Staples Center to do everything possible to get the season started. Also in the meantime how bout auctioning off some memorabilia, organizing a pro-am basketball tourney, hell maybe even put out another album. Anything so long as all the proceeds go to the locked out Staple Center Staff. Are you sick of banks nickel and diming you to death? Hey bank of America! I don't have any more money, neither does any one else, leave us alone. Is it just me or does Herman Cain look like he could be President Obama's grandfather? I don't know what's more confusing Cains 999 tax proposal or the fact that he's a black republican. I swear if this guy wins I'm moving to Canada.



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O no

It's the year of the O. First President Obama swoops down from a chopper commando style. Disarms like 20 suicide bombers, then dives head first into Osama Bin Ladens booby trapped room yelling "America says hello mutha f*cka. The O dog then fires a single shot blowing off the terrorist leaders head. But as historic as that moment was it pails in comparison to the airing of Oprah Winfreys last show. The almighty Oprah has ruled the airwaves for 25 years. Her show brought important issues to the forefront of American mainstream media. Issues like salad tossing, and were not talking about the Paul Newman salad dressing kind. This last episode will be the biggest send off in network television history. Scheduled to appear: Will and Jada Smith, Tom Cruise (no they will not have him jumping up and down on a couch). President Obama will kick off the show by unveiling the Osama corpse pics. Followed by Christina Aguilera singing the national anthem. So why now? Well the media mogul has launched her own network and undoubtedly she will be creating her own brand new show. Like you I am looking forward to the next 25 years of Oprah. I'd like to take this moment to suggest some future topics on the show. An in depth interview w/Charlie Sheen live from his home would be epic. Charlie will grabbing handfuls of coke and snorting it off her breasts while Oprah is babbling on about how the fat kid on 2 and a half men cracks her up. Me thinks I speak for everyone when I say the ultimate blockbuster Oprah show would be her coming out of the closet admitting her relationship with Steadman was a front. Ms Winfrey will walk out on stage and stick her tongue down Gayle Kings mouth. She ll declare she's a lesbian shouting out " Iiiiiiiii'm GAY!!!!!" Who knows maybe even a lil salad tossing demo?

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Los Lakers

This is a newsy news news new newsy news news special report. Or NNNNNNNSR. We at newsy news would like to congratulate the lakers on their class less behavior on the court during game 4 of the playoffs 2nd round. This show of unsportsman like behavior has to rank amongst the worst of all time. First of all it was mothers day, then there is the fact that it was P. Jacksons last game. Oh there is also the fact that the game was way out of hand, lakers were down by as much as thirty points. So let's not forget that this the Lakers you play for, not the kings, not the hapless clippers. But the 16 time world champs easily the face of the league and most popular basketball team in the world. Here is my advice to Andrew Bynum apologize and be sincere cause from now on you will be known as the guy who elbowed a midget. What's really sad is you couldn t even do that right.

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Blog o Rama 4/30/11

It's time for Dodgers baseball. Frank McCourt will be hurling the ball tonight for LA and opposing him will be MLB commish Bud Selig AKA lizard face. If ya haven't heard the boys in blue are being temporarily run by a trustee appointed by major league baseball. Seems ole Franky boy is in a money crunch due to his failed marriage and his shaky business dealings. Hey Arte Moreno this your chance to own a real L.A. team. Just think of the possibilities. You could have gang family night, lil cholitos and cholitas tickets are half off. Moving on prince puto face married some resbalosa. Apparently we were all supposed to care but as of yet no one with half a brain does. Is that thing over yet? We'll wrap things up talking about the Donald. Dude your roast on comedy central was epic, and you do a great job on the apprentice. But your rug wearing, silver spoon, pasty ass has no business running for president. Talk about another elitist mo fo whose soul purpose will be to advance the agenda of the rich. We need Trump for president like we need self help books written by Charlie Sheen. Chapter six winning DUH!!!