Lockout, bank fees, 999

If you have recently taken a paycut or lost your job, you may find the following infuriating. The NBA is currently experiencing a player lockout. Rich Owners (many of them billionaires) are opposed to the players associations labor contract proposal. Both sides feel like the other is asking for to much money. All the while working class Americans all across this nation who are employed at the Arenas are wondering when they can get back to work? Many rely on these jobs for extra income. I say players like Kobe Bryant (who isn't hurting for money), Owes it to the employees of the Staples Center to do everything possible to get the season started. Also in the meantime how bout auctioning off some memorabilia, organizing a pro-am basketball tourney, hell maybe even put out another album. Anything so long as all the proceeds go to the locked out Staple Center Staff. Are you sick of banks nickel and diming you to death? Hey bank of America! I don't have any more money, neither does any one else, leave us alone. Is it just me or does Herman Cain look like he could be President Obama's grandfather? I don't know what's more confusing Cains 999 tax proposal or the fact that he's a black republican. I swear if this guy wins I'm moving to Canada.



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O no

It's the year of the O. First President Obama swoops down from a chopper commando style. Disarms like 20 suicide bombers, then dives head first into Osama Bin Ladens booby trapped room yelling "America says hello mutha f*cka. The O dog then fires a single shot blowing off the terrorist leaders head. But as historic as that moment was it pails in comparison to the airing of Oprah Winfreys last show. The almighty Oprah has ruled the airwaves for 25 years. Her show brought important issues to the forefront of American mainstream media. Issues like salad tossing, and were not talking about the Paul Newman salad dressing kind. This last episode will be the biggest send off in network television history. Scheduled to appear: Will and Jada Smith, Tom Cruise (no they will not have him jumping up and down on a couch). President Obama will kick off the show by unveiling the Osama corpse pics. Followed by Christina Aguilera singing the national anthem. So why now? Well the media mogul has launched her own network and undoubtedly she will be creating her own brand new show. Like you I am looking forward to the next 25 years of Oprah. I'd like to take this moment to suggest some future topics on the show. An in depth interview w/Charlie Sheen live from his home would be epic. Charlie will grabbing handfuls of coke and snorting it off her breasts while Oprah is babbling on about how the fat kid on 2 and a half men cracks her up. Me thinks I speak for everyone when I say the ultimate blockbuster Oprah show would be her coming out of the closet admitting her relationship with Steadman was a front. Ms Winfrey will walk out on stage and stick her tongue down Gayle Kings mouth. She ll declare she's a lesbian shouting out " Iiiiiiiii'm GAY!!!!!" Who knows maybe even a lil salad tossing demo?

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Los Lakers

This is a newsy news news new newsy news news special report. Or NNNNNNNSR. We at newsy news would like to congratulate the lakers on their class less behavior on the court during game 4 of the playoffs 2nd round. This show of unsportsman like behavior has to rank amongst the worst of all time. First of all it was mothers day, then there is the fact that it was P. Jacksons last game. Oh there is also the fact that the game was way out of hand, lakers were down by as much as thirty points. So let's not forget that this the Lakers you play for, not the kings, not the hapless clippers. But the 16 time world champs easily the face of the league and most popular basketball team in the world. Here is my advice to Andrew Bynum apologize and be sincere cause from now on you will be known as the guy who elbowed a midget. What's really sad is you couldn t even do that right.

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Blog o Rama 4/30/11

It's time for Dodgers baseball. Frank McCourt will be hurling the ball tonight for LA and opposing him will be MLB commish Bud Selig AKA lizard face. If ya haven't heard the boys in blue are being temporarily run by a trustee appointed by major league baseball. Seems ole Franky boy is in a money crunch due to his failed marriage and his shaky business dealings. Hey Arte Moreno this your chance to own a real L.A. team. Just think of the possibilities. You could have gang family night, lil cholitos and cholitas tickets are half off. Moving on prince puto face married some resbalosa. Apparently we were all supposed to care but as of yet no one with half a brain does. Is that thing over yet? We'll wrap things up talking about the Donald. Dude your roast on comedy central was epic, and you do a great job on the apprentice. But your rug wearing, silver spoon, pasty ass has no business running for president. Talk about another elitist mo fo whose soul purpose will be to advance the agenda of the rich. We need Trump for president like we need self help books written by Charlie Sheen. Chapter six winning DUH!!!

Election guide Newsy style

Let me start by saying these are only opinions, if you are going to vote, it would be a good idea to also look at the real election guides. Californians will be voting on very hot button issues this fall, non hotter than prop 19 the Regulate, Control and Tax Cannabis Act of 2010 (it would have been kinda cool if it had been named prop 420). Under this law anyone 21 and over legally could posses up to an ounce of cannabis. I don't believe legalizing marijuana is gonna solve all of our problems, but it is time we de-criminalize this seemingly harmless drug. Check out this cowboy I saw riding his horse in Laguna Hills, he should be allowed to rip a few bong hits than stroll El Toro st with pro prop 19 signs legally cause this is America, do it for the children(you can't say no to the children cause then you'd be labeled a cold hearted bastard). Speaking of cold hearted bastards lets size up Meg Whitman and Jerry Brown, okay boys drop your pants, too close to call. Money bags Mcgee Whitman has dumped over one hundred million dollars into her own campaign, which makes me wonder why these billionaires spend so much money trying to land a job that pays peanuts in comparison. If I had billions, I'd spend my time and money in philanthropy instead of getting caught up in the red tape of politics. Jerry I don't have a plan Brown's record has been an issue, Whitman put him on blast in ads that show an interview with Bubba Clinton tearing Jerry a new one. I'm not completely convinced Brown is the best man for the job, but there is no way I am voting for a republican elitist who will give tax breaks to the rich. Honestly I wish we could vote James Cameron into office, sure his projects take forever and go way over budget, but they are always successful and have a happy ending(The box office Avatar 2 is gonna bring in could solve CA's massive deficit). If the governator Arnold got elected by spewing out lines like "I will terminate your taxes" then anything can happen.

Blog O Rama 9-8-10

We're days away from another 9/11 anniversary, and all the crazies are out. Pendejo errrrrr pastor Terry Jones plans to burn copies of the Koran, and in his words "We must send a clear message to the radical element of Islam. We will no longer be controlled and dominated by their fears and threats." I say let's ramp this up a bit, Terry and his gang should fly to Afghanistan and hold the protest there. I'm sure they'd have no problem finding Korans to burn, this would send the message loud and clear. Recently I challenged hollywood to become more active in the Pakistani flood relief effort, apparently my message was heard. Angelina Jolie visited the flood stricken region just outside of Islamabad yesterday. Conditions there are getting worse and they need all the help they can get, we can all do something by donating money to relief efforts. Maybe Lady Gaga can donate the meat bikini she wore for Vogue magazine. Gaga will stop at nothing to shock us all and question our core beliefs. I can't wait to see her take on the poultry industry, maybe she'll bathe herself in an eggwash, jump in a mix of cajun batter and deep fry herself. I know that would catch my attention.

The Furminator

This puta has been dubbed the furminator, but this act is less Arnold and more Tony Soprano. Maybe we don't know the whole story, what if this cat was stealing from this lady. Night after night breaking into her home and taking valuables, like high end scratching posts, and Louie Vitton collars. The police would do nothing about it citing lack of evidence. So this b!tch goes Soprano hunting this pussy down, and dumping it in the trash can where surely this cat burglar would suffer a horrible death. The funny thing to me is that this story is front page news, while stories like the miners in Chile gets little or no coverage.